Poops talked me into playing Fantasy Football. I’m not sure I can name a single active player these days, but I had fun making the logo for my team, Weekend at Bernie’s.
My crowning achievement as a Mathlete was to get our team to stand in the shape of a square root symbol for the yearbook photo.
(I’m the 6th grade girl wearing a vertically-striped button down from JC Penney who looks like a middle-aged man still that still lives with his mother.)
It’s about a cow who unites Israel and Palestine.
God, what a boner shrinker
Since Lenny eschews all forms of Internet that are not online gambling, I’m going to wish him a happy Father’s Day on all these platforms that he doesn’t know exist, just like the messages from Earth that we launched into space with the Voyager Program.
Turns out I LOVE stingrays and this was the best day of my life. Look at that unbridled joy in the top left. They are so squishy.
Forever texting my husband about the David Lee Roth videos he misses while in the can.
Everybody’s always talking about how they’re a different person now, but I’m like, Nope. Peeps is Peeps.
(Also love that my mom learned to just cover me with a rag while I ate.)
GET YOURE FILTHY FUKKEN TALONS OFF DIO U BITCH
Also Elaine forever.