David Duchovny joined Twitter recently, and I was right to be skeptical.
So far it’s mostly pictures of him playing guitar (right? so sad) and what appears to be self-written poetry.
Also he keeps referring to other white men as “my brother” and “my main man.”
Don’t worry, I bought more than one pair, and I’m as bothered as you are that I took my shoe off in a bar.
h/t to my girl SB for the photo cred
The Day The Earth Stood Still
To Kill a Mockingbird
1492: Conquest of Paradise
She Hate Me
Planes, Trains & Automobiles
Burden of Dreams
The Talented Mr. Ripley
Our middle school’s mascot was the Huskies, which is sort of a hilariously cruel identifier to force on 1200 kids who are all dealing with puberty and new, unstable emotions by eating non stop Doritos.These were not my good years by any standards other than my ability to make my teachers like me, even if I had a lot of trouble getting the same reaction out of my peers.
6th Grade: The forced, nervous smile actually has nothing to do with the fact that they made me look directly into the sun as they took this picture. When you were selected as Student of the Month, you’d get a note delivered in class asking you to report directly to the principal’s office. The entire class would make that “Ooooooooooooh girl you in trouble” howl. I thought I was getting expelled. I didn’t know why. The fact that I wasn’t in trouble, but that my picture was going to hang in the lobby entrance of the school for a month did not provide much relief. At least I had just gotten my braces off, and I for one thought my retainer looked pretty cool.
7th Grade: God, I look almost normal. Posed in the shade in front of a shrub by a principal’s assistant who had a little artistic flair. Things were on an upswing. Mr. Holt, my pre-algebra teacher who was rumored to be the toughest teacher in the entire school, had nominated me for Student of the Month. Even though Major League Baseball was on strike, I was optimistic they would work it out, and it wasn’t going to stop me from wearing my Jabob’s Field commemorative Opening Day t shirt with my Umbros. I was holding my retainer in my hand behind my back.
8th Grade: Downward spiral. I had a cold sore for 14 months straight. Half of my bangs decided to go ahead and reattach themselves to my eye brows. I had more tie-dyed shirts than friends. Doritos, save me.
Just in time for opening day, ROCKS Lakeview and ROCKS Lincoln Park in Chicago create a Ballpark Burger: a burger with all the flavorings of a hot dog
Have you ever been firing up your grill and couldn’t decide whether to eat a juicy hamburger or a plump hot dog?
Now you won’t have to choose — if you’re a Chicago resident or Cubs fan that is — because ROCKS Lakeview and ROCKS Lincoln Park have created and are serving a hot dog/hamburger hybrid. No this isn’t some frankenfood; the ballpark burger takes all the flavorings and fixings of a classic Chicago-style hot dog and puts them onto a burger. It’s being dubbed “Baseball on a Bun.”
The Goblincock from Kumas was/is pretty damn good.
f. u. q. q.
Maseks have been putting sliced hot dogs on hamburgers since grills have existed you fucks. The shit that passes for “news” these days.
Oh, where to start?
As Megan’s shirt indicates, this was taken at the Medina County Fair. August, 1993. I had just turned 11 and was getting ready to start 6th grade in about a month. Megan is 8, and full of self-confidence.
The day this picture was taken was the day I decided I was going to make some changes to my personal look. #1: No more bangs. But who has time to wait for them to grow out? NOT I. So I just slicked them back with, like, half a cup of Extra Hold hair gel borrowed from my aunt, and then pulled the rest of my hair back into a ponytail. The result was that I ended up passing for a cute-enough boy.
I used to spend an entire week at the county fair, helping out my grandparents who were on the fair board. I had eyed this poncho all week. It was at the booth near the cow barn that sold Big Johnson shirts and pipes with what I thought was a buckeye leaf on them. The poncho was prominently displayed hung from a rope on the perimeter of the tent, blowing carefree in the breeze. I wanted it SO BAD. It cost $25 and it was the itchiest thing in the entire world. I have no memory of ever wearing it again, but I kept it on the back of my desk chair until I left for college.
The blue of that cowboy hat really made her eyes pop. The feather was the softest thing on earth. I wish that poncho had been made out of feathers instead of the yarn that they use to make door mats. And, yes, that is an Ice Capades fanny pack.
Wee Peeps thinks you’re all full of bullshit
Bustin’ makes me feel good
See you fucks on the flip side
Unknown man with his ventriloquist doll.
Nightmare juice for Seth
Nightmare juice for all