My crowning achievement as a Mathlete was to get our team to stand in the shape of a square root symbol for the yearbook photo.
(I’m the 6th grade girl wearing a vertically-striped button down from JC Penney who looks like a middle-aged man still that still lives with his mother.)
David Duchovny’s Book Sounds Bananas -
It’s about a cow who unites Israel and Palestine.
God, what a boner shrinker
Since Lenny eschews all forms of Internet that are not online gambling, I’m going to wish him a happy Father’s Day on all these platforms that he doesn’t know exist, just like the messages from Earth that we launched into space with the Voyager Program.
Forever texting my husband about the David Lee Roth videos he misses while in the can.
Everybody’s always talking about how they’re a different person now, but I’m like, Nope. Peeps is Peeps.
(Also love that my mom learned to just cover me with a rag while I ate.)
(Source: idiod, via alanapost)
GET YOURE FILTHY FUKKEN TALONS OFF DIO U BITCH
How to Weigh a Baby Giraffe
It’s the real deal. Thanks to The Vulgar Chef, you can drape us in velvet whenever you want. Visit our main page to see more inspired Oreo Snack Hacks and re-blog your favorites.
this stupid sponsored oreo tumblr knows my DREAMS