Aw, Peeps!

lifeaquatic asked: How was your race? Are you happy to be out of Pittsburgh?

The race was hot and hilly, but I did well, despite the fact that I did not run with my goal time translated into a bible verse like the people in front of me in the start corral.

I am very happy to be back in Brooklyn. Listen, Pittsburgh is fine, I guess, if you’re from there, but it’s not a city I can get into. Part of the reason is because my family is from Cleveland, and so I am battling an entire upbringing of bad sports blood. The other reason is that I have no innate sense of direction—okay, fine, I have no innate sense of ANYTHING; I am zero percent intuition and 100% rote memorization and pattern—and I cannot find my way around that city to save my life. Also, there is so much traffic and if there’s anything I hate more than people who wear Vibram Five Fingers shoes to a party, it’s sitting in traffic. Oh, or maybe driving in the snow. I might hate that more. So imagine me driving in the snow, in heavy traffic, on crazy hills, surrounded by Yinzer inbreeds wearing terrible towel loin cloths and Crocs and they’re all fat like Ben Rapersburger and you get a sense of why I don’t ever want to live in Pittsburgh.

One cool thing is that they put french fries on pretty much everything there.

Notes:

  1. onefootinthegrave said: New York smells like piss and Molly lives in CANADA. Pittsburgh rules.
  2. awpeeps posted this